As a girl, there is many things you go through. Periods, pregnancy, annoying hair growth (LITERALLY EVERYWHERE!), and more. But as a girl there are things you shouldn’t have to go through. Slut-shaming, being taken advantage of, and being stared at by perverts. There is a time and a place to look at people; when you’re first meeting somebody, while having a conversation, surveying your surroundings, but then there’s also times when you shouldn’t. Like when you’re bluntly staring at a girl. A girl staring at another girl is one thing, typically they’re just looking around or checking out your outfit. Now if they’re giving dirty looks, that’s completely different. But I’m not talking about that, I’m talking about boys staring at girls, or more actually men.
Now, I am a teenage girl; tall, skinny, and blonde. I stick out like a sore thumb half the time. I wear clothes that fit me completely, yet, I still get stares. And it’s not a stare like “I’m staring at your face, because hey you’re cute.” No, it’s “I’m staring at your butt and boobs, I don’t care who catches me, I’m gonna stare.” Quite frankly, I’m tired of the stares. There’s a thing called respect that I’m feeling less and less from men, when I feel like they’re raping me with their stares. It happens in shorts, it happens in skirts, it happens in dresses, and it freaking happens when I’m wearing jeans. All of my skirts and dresses are below fingertip length -which happens to be hard for somebody with such long legs and arms. And my shorts are 100% covering my butt, yet I’m still getting ogled at. It’s one thing for a guy around my own age to stare/check me out. Because I know they’re harmless and honestly I’m guilty at looking their way too. Although, when it’s men way older than that is when I have a problem.
Being raised in the South I’ve been taught men are supposed to respect women. They open your doors, pull out your chair, walk you to your car, that type of stuff. Yet here lately, all men have been doing is staring at me like I’m their next meal. Didn’t your mothers or wife teach you to respect women? Especially one who’s obviously a minor? Now I am not somebody who looks my age because of my height, but here’s the thing, I have been having this happen for years. I’m about to be 17 now and this has been happening since I was 13. Constantly I’m having to pull my shorts down while walking at the mall, make sure my hair covers my breasts, not wear a crop top so no skin shows that’s on my arms or legs.
I personally am scared to go anywhere by myself. No matter if I need to just go to a different store in the mall, go to the bathroom, or go on a different aisle in the grocery store. A lot of women happen to be like this. So no we don’t go to bathrooms as groups just so we can talk, a lot of us go as groups because we don’t like the possibility of being alone.
Continuously my nerves are all over the place. Paranoia fills me. Because I’m scared of how many men will look my way that day. How many will “get off” by looking at me. How many will lust over my body and commit a sin unknowingly. How many times that day will I feel the need to fold my arms across my chest and hunch over in a sad attempt to cover, what is already covered. There is never a day these thoughts do not go through my head… yet I keep the thoughts to myself, because I’m scared if I voice them something might actually happen to me.
What if one day, I finally get over these fears? I’m comfortable to walk around by myself in a crop top and shorts, without feeling the need to cover, what if that is the day I am raped because I let my guard down about men looking at me?
I, as a women, should not feel the need to fear these things. I, as a women, should be comfortable in anything and everything and not fear how men are looking at me. I should be able to wear my yoga shorts and not see men staring at my butt. I should be able to wear a tight tank and not catch men trying to sneak a look down shirt as they pass by. When I was 13 I shouldn’t have been scared to walk around in my spandex after volleyball practice, because I knew there was going to be some creep staring at me. My guy friends shouldn’t always feel the need to walk everywhere with me, if I’m not at church.
This is a serious problem and yet nobody seems to talk about it. Eye raping, is feeling violated by how somebody is looking at you/they stare at you for a long length of time. It is concerning the amount of men who do it. And is it disturbing the amount of women who do not talk about it or teach their men not to do it.
So, as a young female who is tired of being eye raped and feeling violated by men I ask, as a female; teach your sons not look at girls for long lengths of time. Teach your men to keep their eyes to themselves. Teach your husband to only have eyes for you. Teach your sons to respect girls, open their doors, pull out their chairs, and not just act like they are there for them to have sex with. Teach your men and husbands the same.
Thank you for reading this, this is very important to me and to get awareness out about.